Oh…Sir!! The Insult Simulator tasks you with constructing insults turn by turn, trading verbal barbs instead of punches and kicks. Visually the layout is similar to a fighting game, with the two opponents facing each other and dwindling health bars on top of the screen. You take turns choosing sentence fragments from a shared menu, adding another layer of strategy to this otherwise gloriously stupid game. You can use the word “and” to add another target to your insult (“your father and your mother”), or perhaps to create a full additional insult (“your father was a hamster and your son is old”). Further, you can use an ellipses to carry your insult onto the next round, giving you a new board to choose from. Each participant has two private parts of speech they can use at any time, and once per round they can refresh them by taking a sip of tea.
Stronger insults, as judged by a secretive scoring system, deal more damage to the health bar. Particularly mean insults are declared “Rude,” and grant an extra bonus when used against an opponent who has just used an ellipses. In that case, your enemy will get distracted and lose their stored insult, starting from scratch in the next round.
The novelty of this title does wear off before too long, and this is poked fun at with a trophy called “It Gets Boring After an Hour.” Self-deprecating humor aside, few people are going to sink dozens of hours into Insult Simulator. The actual insults themselves can range from not insulting at all (“A hamster never watched Star Wars”), to legitimately mean, and many times to pure absurdity. The game is most enjoyable in that final option, with the most bizarre zingers being the ones that got chuckles out of me.
The single player mode consists of five levels with the same setup and dialogue every time. An option to automatically skip the introductory dialogue after the first time playing each level would have been a much-appreciated addition, but instead, you’ll find yourself mashing the Cross button to try to get to the game as fast as possible.
Multiplayer includes both couch and online, and both function identically to the single player setup. Online play is a lot less entertaining than using this as a party game.
At $2.99, this is a budget title with little to complain about. It has its flaws, but it’s not trying to be something it isn’t. If you think you can get some laughs out of this for a couple hours, it’s well worth your time. If all of this just sounds dumb and not funny to you, take a pass on it.